It can seem like you get hardly any time with your child. Maybe you are limited to two weekends a month and a couple of weeks during the summer when it comes to seeing your child. Do you feel that you are visitor in your child’s life instead of a parent? Many parents who don’t get primary physical custody of their kids feel this way. One parent, though, talked about how to change that and truly fill your shoes as a parent.

The father said that whenever he got his daughters after his divorce, he did as much as he could that was fun with them. He would get season passes to an amusement park, but he insisted that he was not the typical “Disneyland Dad.” It didn’t take too long for him to realize that his daughters really needed more from him that just someone to hang out with and have fun. Their friends can do that.

He decided that he wanted his girls to know about him. For example, he told them about wanting to be a writer. He was honest, though, and also told them how much it hurt to have been rejected by magazines for the first few articles he wrote and submitted. He also told them about how he had a lot of dreams that had to be set aside so he could see to his immediate needs — like earning a livable wage.

He wanted his kids to know that he took control of his problems and didn’t run away from them. He also told them that he wanted them to set high standards for how they would let people treat them. He also wanted his children to give of themselves and not just take form people.

These are some of the lessons this father has learned. Teaching your children that they are loved when you see them infrequently is very important. They need to know that you are worth more than just a child support payment each month.

Source: Huffington Post, “How To Deal When You Feel Like Just A Visitor In Your Child’s Life,” Elliott Katz, March 16, 2016