It’s OK to be a cheater when it comes to divorce. Well, at least in the child custody courtroom. No, we are not suggesting that you skirt the requirements of the law — we only think that you should use a “cheat sheet” to help you learn more about co-parenting! Sharing your children with their other parent can be difficult, especially if the divorce was acrimonious. Instead of giving in to the temptation to wallow in negativity, take our advice — and experience an entirely new type of co-parenting relationship.
You probably feel frustrated when you first start to co-parent. Whether you have been dealing with child custody for a month or a decade, co-parenting can be equally challenging. One of our “cheater” tips: Do not make assumptions. Your ex might be late to pick up your children, or she might introduce her new boyfriend faster than you would prefer. If you assume that these behaviors are just designed to frustrate and annoy you, then co-parenting is going to be much more difficult. Instead, concede the fact that your children’s other parent might actually have a legitimate reason for his or her actions. In other words, be forgiving.
It is acceptable to tell your children the truth about what is going on, though. For example, if your ex bails on a custody transfer, be honest with your kids, but keep it age-appropriate. Be sure to emphasize the fact that the parent’s actions do not mean that he or she loves the child any less, and make sure the children know they did not cause their parent’s negative behavior.
If you are just starting down the road to child custody negotiations, it might be a good time to consider hiring a divorce coach. These professionals augment your New York legal team by providing you with the emotional support you need during the courtroom proceedings. With a little practice — and some support — you can become an all-star co-parent, even if you do “cheat” sometimes.
Source: The Huffington Post, “The Co-Parenting Cheat Sheet” Honoree Corder, Jun. 03, 2014